Words Matter

If there’s one thing I am convinced about, it is that words, really do matter. It would be foolish as someone who regularly writes words for the consumption of others to think anything different to that fact. So yes, words, in my humble thoughts, matter greatly.

What comes with that is how we use those words, allowing them to serve as weapons or messages of freedom. Words are often used to codify a persons wholeness in an apparently simple and complete way. As an autistic person I have experienced this first hand, as a parent I have experienced it second hand. As a woman, with a trans history I have experienced it many times over throughout my life.

Some years ago, the word neurotypical became a word of choice used by many to signify, codify and define a person who wasn’t autistic. It is a word thrown about in dismissive, weaponised and erasing ways of the experiences of non-autistic people. This is in itself is actually quite a horrendous act, though mostly, I don’t think it is intended to be weaponised it so often is. And large swathes of the autistic community need to check themselves on this.

So often we find ourselves objecting to the objectifying language that is used about us, to describe us, to categorise and sideline us, and yet, many of us happily use the word neurotypical in exactly the same way. In my view, we need to stop it. We can’t on the one hand demand respect for our choice of language around our identity and at the very same time use language that is simply wrong to describe a group of people. It is just so hypocritical to do so.

The word neurotypical does not mean not autistic. It means having a neurological makeup or wiring, if you prefer, that is considered typical. What that means is a lot more complex than just non-autistic.

We all live in a world that is neurodiverse, as autistics we are neurodivergent. We are not neurodiverse ourselves, but neurodivergent members of the neurodiverse world. That neurodiverse world encompasses those who really are neurotypical and those who are neurodivergent. The kicker is of course, that being autistic is only one way of many ways one can be neurodivergent.

What appears to be the most consistently accepted identifier of non autistic people is the term allistic, when one uses that term about another one is simply saying that the person is not autistic. It is not an in anyway meant to silence or erase a person, but merely to state a known fact that the person is non autistic. They may also be neurotypical or they may be otherly neurodivergent.

What constitutes an accepted neurodivergence is not a set codified thing, it is a changing environment, as it should be, as we learn more about just how diverse human neurology is. Some well accepted examples are Bipolar, ADHD, Dissociative Disorders, of course not an exhaustive list.

The thing to get one’s head around in all this is that one can be allistic and neurodivergent, and one can be allistic and neurotypical. What one can’t be is autistic and neurotypical. The key is that neurotypical does not equal non autistic.

When autistic people use it to mean that they are disregarding the experiences and realities of many many neurodivergent folks and making it harder for the neurodiversity paradigm to be accepted over and above the pathology paradigm.

Over the years I have had conversations with many about this, and I have found that many react badly when presented with this information. I have had this experience with parents of autistics, groups of autistics – especially groups that like to hold on to the Aspergers label, and health related people.

Enough is enough. It’s about time we just stopped saying neurotypical when we mean allistic. If we mean allistic say allistic. If we happen to know 100% that the person is also neurotypical then perhaps then it’s cool to use the term, but given that it’s unlikely for any of us to know whether or not a person is identified or diagnosed with a neurodivergence, just because we happen to know they are allistic, the best course of action is to simply use allistic. If you mean non autistic say allistic, if you mean not neurodivergent then is the time it is ok to say neurotypical.

As an autistic I want my experiences, my existence, my right to exist acknowledged, accepted and celebrated. It is outrageous to think I can do this whilst walking all over the rest of the neurodivergent community’s right to exist, be acknowledged and celebrated.

So perhaps the best rule of thumb is simply don’t use the term neurotypical about another person unless they specifically identify that way and make it clear that that is the case.