Wired for sound.

I recall with fondness, being around 12 or 13 year old and beginning to discover my tastes in music, the things I enjoyed the things, I loved, the things I tolerated. One thing of course was beginning to become important and that was that my music tastes were becoming mine and not just an extension of my parents.

I was beginning to become wired for sound.

I remember it well, Cliff singing about tall speakers, short speakers any speakers, if there was music they were wired for sound.

Music defines so much about human society, the lyrics and tunes of the times speak to society and what they are thinking. The mood of the people in term of the politics of the day.

It’s a potent source of information about people. One of the Ming Dynasty rulers was known for gauging the settledness of his kingdom by investigating the songs the people were singing. It was, apparently, an effective method of maintaining peace and order during his rule.

There’s nothing that really compares with the way a song from one’s history can transform you back to that place and time. For me, I experience this with intense reality, as though I have suddenly been transported back to the place of importance connected to that song. It is as though I am there, the smells the sounds, the feelings are all potently present in the moment.

I probably do not turn to my music often enough as a circuit breaker, or coping means when under stress or pressure. I really should be more proactive in this regard. I suspect I would cope with life a little better. Because when I do I am immediately aware of how wonderful the escape into music is.

I often wonder how common a thing this is for autistic people. Especially in terms of how so many of us experience sound as a sensory difficulty. I don’t have an aversion to sound, loud noises generally don’t concern me too much, accept of course for the startle factor that happens, when, you know, you walk along and an explosion or a car back fires or something like that. But I do have sensory issues with sound.

I’ve written of this previously, it’s what I like to describe as multiplicity of sound or the multi streams of sound. It’s as though my sensory systems are doing everything they can to make sense of, interpret and make meaning out of every stream of sound that hits my ears. These situations for me, are the ones that are most likely to overwhelm me. This is especially true if my stress levels are already elevated due to stuff going on in life.

It is intensely interesting though, that even in those situations, where I am at the very edge of meltdown, if I can manage to remember to get some music, particularly some favourites blasting into my ears that somehow that overwhelm appears to be mitigated. I find it an odd thing. In the midst of becoming overwhelmed by sound that a different source of sound can be a calming, indeed, almost euphoric escape from impending meltdown.

I carry ear plugs and they can be helpful, but I do find that I don’t tend to use them enough, there is something in the sensation of them in my ears that makes me feel disconnected from my physical reality.

Using music more proactively to manage my functioning in situations of multiplicity of sound is a challenge. One of the important things is to ensure I have source of music and source of headphones to make use of it, invariably my earbuds, which are pretty basic anyway, are in a tangled mess in my bag and it all seems too much effort. This attitude in itself is quite ridiculous, I think, when the effort taken could have such a positive impact on my day.

I don’t pretend to claim that this is a solution for all autistic people, but I do know it is a method of refuge, survival and functioning that works for me. A method I should use far more than I do.

I wonder though, if my experience is rare and isolated or more common. I wonder if other autistics find this similar refuge in something so simple and available as music into our ears.

I wonder if you like, fellow autistic, is this music to your ears, or perhaps not?