Shaken not broken.

An ordinary work day turned into something very much not ordinary, well not ordinary in terms of living in my home town and going about day to day life.

Everything was just going along as normal, well as normal as anything is in this time of public debate and postal survey times is. Social media feeds are full of everything marriage equality. There are many signs of support, much celebration of votes being cast in the affirmative, and sadly a lot of homophobia, transphobia and hateful stuff too.

To say that the Australian LGBTQIA+ community are living through interesting times at the moment would be something of an understatement, the reality is, that it’s really tough living through this period. Yes, there is a lot of support for our community and I for one am incredibly thankful for that support, but it doesn’t change the fact that our very right to exist and live as full participants of society is being publicly debated every moment of every day in every stream of media one can access.

It’s in that context, that my ordinary start to the day was totally derailed yesterday as I made my way to work. All started pretty normal, my alarm went off, I beligerently snoozed it a couple of times until it was clear I really had to obey it’s beeping and make my way out of bed. The normal routine of showering, makeup application, dressing, and making my way to the local station ensued.

My ride on the train was as boring and uneventful as it is on most days. It was what happened at the end of this train trip that shook me to my core. I exited the train and entered the lift to carry my up to the exit level of the railway station. All going well, the lift was even waiting for me with no waiting required. All that was left was a short brisk walk from the station to the office and the day of work would commence. Or so I thought.

As I stood in the lift, against the wall, another woman entered the lift, she took a moment to look at me and proceeded to physically shove me further into the lift and into the other occupants. Needless to say I was somewhat shocked at this altercation, as I looked gathered myself and looked towards the woman I saw she was carrying her bible and some kind of study materials to assist her with reading it.

Now I’m a Christian myself and so in a sense nothing too out of the ordinary about a bible toting person, but it was the word she spoke to me with quiet insistent venom as our eyes met that shocked me to my core. “You’re a freak” we those words. Spoken at a level that would ensure I heard them but not loud enough for others to clearly make them out.

I rode the lift and exited it after everyone else, slowly, my brisk walk became more of an amble to the office, in the shock that I was in my mind was turning these events over and over again, actually asking if this had just really happened. Had I just been the victim of a transphobic attack.

So lost in this mind turning thought process as I mad my way into my office building I managed to fall up the stairs going from the ground level to the main foyer. over and over, around and around was the realistion that yes I had just been assaulted for no other reason than that of being my true self.

I’ve written before of how generally safe and accepting a community it is in which I live. I maintain that is the case, and yet the events of yesterday have shacken me to my core, made just that more real that not everyone is accepting and supportive as the majority of people I am lucky enough to spend the majority of my time with.

I am utterly convinced that if it had not been for the fact that we are enduring this horrible postal survey on the right of LGBTQIA+ people to be equal before the law that yesterday’s attack would not have happened.

Everyday in the media there is more evidence of increased anti LGBTQIA+ behaviour, assaults, destruction of property and so on. It’s as though those with antiquated and discriminatory views and ideas believe they have permission to do what they want and treat people however they like. In short that they are free to release their hate upon us.

We still have weeks to go in this damn postal survey and the ramping up of the hateful continues.

I spent my day yesterday in somewhat of a dazed and confused kind of state, not quite sure if I had entered some alternate reality. Did that really happen, did I somehow imagine that altercation.

What stands true and present in my mind though is the look of hatred and the venom like way the words “you’re a freak” were virtually spat or hissed at me.

It’s well over 24 hours since the event and I find myself making my way through my day, with even more hypervigilance than I typically would. And I don’t like it. I just want to make my way through my life being able to be the person I am, without fear that I will be assaulted for no other reason than my very existence is for some unfathomable reason anathema to aother.

We’re all humans sharing this planet, why can’t we just accept one another and get on with living our lives in peace and hopefully when it comes to the end of our life we have left a positive impact on the people we’ve interacted with.

Please, can’t we just accept one another. Maybe even support one another to be the best possible humans we can be. If we could work towards that, that’d be kind of grand I reckon.