Of course I don’t speak for your child it’s the very last thing I would want to claim to do.

As an autistic adult, I can offer some insight into what it’s like to be autistic. Doing so is not a claim to know everything about autism, it’s not a claim that I know everything about your child, that I know them better than you do, or that I speak for them. To make such a claim, would be absolutely ridiculous.

Equally ridiculous is the claim by many self-styled autism parents that they are their children’s voice. Generally claims such as these are made on the basis that their child is non-speaking, or as it is often labelled non-verbal.

Let me explain a bit further. Every human has a voice of their own, it may be expressed through speaking, it may be expressed through assistive and augmentative communication devices, iPad apps, art and so many other options. The list is effectively endless.

I know a little about parenting, of course I am an expert only in terms of the parental relationship I have with my three daughters. I am not their voice, I never was, never will be, they have their own voice. Oh and yes, there were speech and language delay involved in my childrens development. So I know a thing or two about listening for their voice even when it wasn’t spoken words.

Parents of course know their kids very well. Especially in the formative years of their growing development. We love them, we hurt when they hurt, we celebrate when they celebrate, we feel for them intensely when they are unwell. It’s part of the parenting role, it is what it is. Again though, what we are not is their voice.

What we are though, is their advocate, and our job, especially if our kids have extra a development deemed to be not typical, is to be the best darn advocate we can for them. That does not mean appropriate our voice as their voice. It means, I believe, we have this task to find their voice, this can be difficult and fraught when our kids are non speaking, but nevertheless that is the task we have.

Once we find that voice, we may realise it’s communicating in a different way, it has its own unique language, and we have to learn to hear and understand it. Then our role as parent advocates is to stand with our kids and make sure that voice, their voice, is heard, sometimes we will have to shush people, we will have to prod and poke to ensure our children’s voice is being heard by others.

We have to amplify it, repeat it, shout it from the rooftops, repeat it to the educational, medical and other helping communities, but amplify it we must.

That’s our job, to help our kids find and then amplify and support our children as they express their voice in whatever form that takes.

Of course there will be times when we need to speak on their behalf, the key, the trick, the absolute most important thing is to not let our voice overide and sound out the voice of our kids that sometimes is so hard fought to be found.

As an autisitc adult, for much of my life, especially the growing up years, I was not abe to be an autonomous human person. My autonomy was taken from me and compliance with demand from parents, schools, church, pretty much everything was required. I was unable to be authentic because my authentic was seen as atypical, and atypical was deemed to be negative.

What I, as an autistic self-advocate do do when I speak out regarding different therapies and what not, is to speak for the autonomy of person of essentially all human persons, but especially in terms of my autistic tribe. Too many of my tribe have suffered great trauma simply because they too are atypical. I know this to be true of other adult autistics also, because I have spoken with many, I am friends with many, and so I know on this issue many of us stand united. But in the end I speak on my own behalf, from my own experience of what it is to be autistic.

When I speak out against a therapy, because I know it to be of concern, through personal experience, the experiences of others, and at times academic research, this never means I am advocating for no therapy ever to be done. That too would be a ridiculous assertion to make, though it is one that is often levelled at autistic advocates.

I am an autistic self advocate and I speak first and foremost from my own experience of being autistic and from being a parent to autistic and non autistic kids. If it feels like I am speaking on behalf of your child, please understand I would never seek to do that. But what I will do is encourage the finding of your child’s voice, I will encourage and plead that it is that voice you amplify rather than your voice.

My voice is my voice, it can be nothing other than this. It can though be a conduit for another, and that, is our job as parents, especially of atypical kids, to allow our voices to be conduits and amplifiers of our children voice, in whatever form that takes.

Amplify the autistic voice, not for the sake of amplification, but for the sake of the best possible health, well being, lifelong positive outcomes. Amplify the autistic voice so that the future of our tribe is more positve than the past has been.

Amplify the autistic voice.